I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Randomize
