Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
