would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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