I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
