I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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