So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Can I color on your dick again?
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
