Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize