She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
