Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
