Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
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Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
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I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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