If that was your dad, he is hot
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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