I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
