i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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