I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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