I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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