walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
