So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
If that was your dad, he is hot
i already hear my dad disowning me
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
