He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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