my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Randomize
