Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize