Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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