super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
