your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Randomize
