go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Randomize
