weddingsv make me drug and hornr
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Randomize
