when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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