i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I just had sex on a roof
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
