At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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