If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize