dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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