woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
