Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
