We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
