Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
