Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Randomize
