So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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