wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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