yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
