Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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