Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
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