you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
