I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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