why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Randomize
