what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
