Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
