Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
