you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Randomize
