I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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