So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize