hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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