4 words: hood of his car
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
