What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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