just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
