So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Everything about him screamed your future.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
