There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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