So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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