I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
