Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
