She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
