So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize
