I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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