Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize