And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Randomize
