if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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